Lex's stance had been rigid and straight when he'd finished talking with his final declaration for Anatoly to leave. But as the Russian spoke, his shoulder didn't so much slump, as gradually loosen as dread piled into the pit of Lex's stomach. Anatoly was pushing him into a corner and Lex didn't know how to get out.
Because that was the thing. While he implied and let Anatoly believe it, the one lie he hadn't been able to bring himself to voice was that he didn't love Anatoly. Something from the very core of him wouldn't let him actually say the words because it meant so much to him. And even now, when he really wished he could lie, to be a Luthor to the very core, to save Anatoly from his shadow...he found he wasn't strong enough. He liked to think his mother would be proud.
It was a long, quiet moment before Lex spoke, in a voice low but thick with emotion. "If your fool enough to love someone whose destiny will destroy you..." and then he turned around to face Anatoly again, pawn still in his hand and his eyes wide, "Then it must be love because I'm an even bigger fool to let you."
Lex didn't quite believe in what Anatoly had said, about him being different, but he couldn't bring himself to care anymore. And while he wasn't sorry for trying... he did deeply regret all the hurt he caused. He paused again, swallowed, then held out his empty hand to Anatoly. "Tolya...Forgive me?."
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
regna
(no subject)
Date: Jul. 5th, 2010 12:33 am (UTC)Because that was the thing. While he implied and let Anatoly believe it, the one lie he hadn't been able to bring himself to voice was that he didn't love Anatoly. Something from the very core of him wouldn't let him actually say the words because it meant so much to him. And even now, when he really wished he could lie, to be a Luthor to the very core, to save Anatoly from his shadow...he found he wasn't strong enough. He liked to think his mother would be proud.
It was a long, quiet moment before Lex spoke, in a voice low but thick with emotion. "If your fool enough to love someone whose destiny will destroy you..." and then he turned around to face Anatoly again, pawn still in his hand and his eyes wide, "Then it must be love because I'm an even bigger fool to let you."
Lex didn't quite believe in what Anatoly had said, about him being different, but he couldn't bring himself to care anymore. And while he wasn't sorry for trying... he did deeply regret all the hurt he caused. He paused again, swallowed, then held out his empty hand to Anatoly. "Tolya...Forgive me?."