Heart's Desire- For Anatoly

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If he could, Lex would have spent every waking moment in the fog, with the most perfect child he'd ever seen. Lena was beautiful and intelligent, a true Luthor in all the ways that could be considered positive. But he knew better, he had responsibilities on the island and he didn't want to worry Anatoly so he made himself leave when he absolutely had too. He knew he should probably tell Anatoly about this...but for the moment, he just wanted to keep Lena to himself.

He was spending time in the fog with Lena now, reading together while curled up in a clearing, when another small girl ran up to them. "Hello Lex!" She said brightly, obviously happy to see her.

Lex cocked his head as he looked at her, suddenly recognizing her with a clenched heart. "Ilona? What are you going here?"

Comments

[chesspolitik]

"Looking for you, Papa Sascha!" Ilona answered happily. She beamed at him and happily hugged his legs as that what what she could reach.

A few minutes later, Anatoly entered the clearing. He was a little breathless on account of carrying Mitya on his back but he was very clearly enjoying himself.

"Ilona! There you are! I thought I told you to walk with me, not gallop ahead like a little horse."

He caught sight of Lex with the little girl and stared. It couldn't - that couldn't...

"Lex?"

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Lex could only stare while Lena wiggled out of his arms so she could run to Anatoly. "Father! I was wondering when you were coming to see me!" She hugged his legs, much like Ilona was doing to Lex.

Finally finding his voice, Lex spoke softly, not taking his eyes off Ilona. "Anatoly...this is Lena. Our daughter, I believe."

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"Our daughter," Anatoly repeated. It was something he had wanted a long time for the two of them - to have a child that was theirs, that they could raise together but he hadn't been able to figure out how such a thing could be. And now, here she was, this beautiful little girl who resembled them both.

He had thought his heart's desire was to have his children back. Now he knew it was to be with Lex and surrounded with Dmitri, Ilona and their own little Lena.

He carefully got down on his knees so that his son could climb off. He opened his arms to Lena and hugged her gently, almost reverently.

"I'm here now," he said. "We are both here."

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Lex was echoing the sentiment of this being his true heart's desire. A whole family he could call his own. His and Anatoly's.

Forcing himself to tear his gaze away from the perfect sight of Anatoly embracing their daughter, he reached down for Ilona and pulled her into his arms. "Hello beautiful" He said softly into her hair, "It's good to see you again."

He looked up and held out a hand toward Mitya. "I"m very glad to see you again as well, Mitya."

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Ilona beamed happily and hugged Lex as hard as she could, burying her face in his chest. Everything was right now that they were all together. Papa would be happy and she could annoy Mitya much better with Lena.

Dmitri hesitated for a moment then stepped forward to shake Lex's hand. He wasn't entirely sure he needed two fathers and a new little sister but they were all his family and that was the important thing.

Anatoly was just looking at Lena, amazed at how perfect she was. She was very much the picture of him and Lex both and he never wanted to let her go.

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Lex moved to give Anatoly some room to sit next to him. With all of them there, he didn't have any desire to be anywhere else. "Lena and I were just reading. Would you all like to join us?" It took everything he had to keep the plaintive tone out of his voice, a problem he had never, ever had before.

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"I would love to," Anatoly answered as he sat next to Lex. Ilona happily sat on Lex's other side and Dmitri, after a theatrical sigh, consented to sit down next to him.

"What are you two reading?"

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"Daddy is reading me fairy tales!" Lena said excitedly as she settled between them so she could cuddle both of them. Ilona seemed to approve of the choice as she moved so she could see the pictures.

Lex flushed slightly and showed Anatoly the cover: it was a book of Russian fairy tales. It had seemed appropriate. "It seemed like something she would like, if she was anything like her Papa."

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"I cannot think of anything better," Anatoly said, his voice a little thick as he tried to keep tears of happiness from falling as he held on to both (both!) his daughters.

"Which one are you reading right now?"

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Lena turned to beam up at Anatoly before Lex could answer. "The Firebird and Princess Vasilisa. Daddy is making funny voices."

Lex chuckled, a bit embarrassed just as he had been when Anatoly had caught him reading to Ilona that one time, "We were just getting to the part about retrieving her wedding gown from the bottom of the sea."

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Dmitri shifted restlessly but he stayed where he was, happy to have his father here, even if it did mean he had to listen to fairy tale stories.

Anatoly just laughed softly and kissed Lena's forehead. "That is a very good part. Do you think I might be allowed to make a funny voice or two?"

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As she settled back down to get a good look at the pictures in the book, Lena turned to beam up at Anatoly. "Of course Papa! You can be the crabs! And the King. Daddy does a good king voice but his eyes get sad."

Lex gave her a look, not sure what she meant but when he met Anatoly's eyes, he just shrugged.

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Anatoly understood what Lena meant and bit his lip for a moment as he smiled down at her. He was torn between admiration for what a smart little girl she was and sadness that she could see something like that so clearly.

He was about to answer when Ilona interrupted, poking him in the side. "But you have to do it right, papa. You have to do a good crab voice. They can't sound like bears again."

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Lena knew that Papa understood and she squeezed his hand. She was glad Daddy had Papa to stop that sad look he got sometimes. And she hoped she never met her grandpa.

Then she laughed at her half sister and looked up at Lex. "Can we read one about bears next so Papa can do a proper bear voice?"

Lex chuckled. "Of course sweetheart. Maybe Ilona or Dimitri has a favorite they'd like to hear."

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"Masha and the Bear!" Ilona piped up excitedly, practically bouncing up and done in her glee.

Anatoly smiled fondly at her and put a soothing hand on her shoulder. "I am sure we can read that after we have finished with this story. And I promise I will do the voices right, just like you and Lena tell me too."

Dmitri just stifled another sigh and wondered if he could get away with sneaking out and find something else to do.

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Lex chuckled. "Alright girls. Let's finish the first story first." He finished reading the story, allowing Anatoly to chine in on the voices for the crabs and the king.

When the story was over, Lex couldn't help noticing Dimitri's impatience and carefully moved so the girls were leaning on Anatoly. "Girls, why don't you let Papa take this one. Dimitri? Would you like to go for a walk?" It was the least he could do, to let Anatoly have some quality time with Lena. He'd been selfish keeping her to himself.

[chesspolitik]

With the girls climbing all over Anatoly, he couldn't do much more than smile gratefully at Lex. He had noticed Dmitri's boredom but had been, as always, at a loss to know what to do with his son. Ilona had always been so happy just to see him that it was easier to know what to do for her. Dmitri... Dmitri was a challenge.

"All right," Dmitri said as if he didn't care much either way. It was nice that Papa Sascha offered to take a walk but he didn't want to get his hopes up.

[capable_of]

"Come on then. You can even lead the way." Lex said, nodding towards the woods. He smiled reassuring over his shoulder at Anatoly and grinned brightly at the scene he was leaving, Anatoly curled up with two beautiful little girls.

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Dmitri smiled shyly at Lex and led the way. Maybe it would be all right after all.

Anatoly watched them go for a moment but had to turn his attention back to his beautiful girls. They were very insistent on how he should do the voices and of course, he had to do his very best to please them.

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They walked for a few minutes through the woods before Lex spotted a pretty straight branch by the side of the path. He grinned to himself before he bent over to pick it up, testing the balance. "Say, Dimitri...Did you ever want to learn how to fence?"

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Dmitri lit up at the question and nodded enthusiastically. His dream was to be a cosmonaut but there was absolutely no reason at all that he couldn't be a fencing cosmonaut.

"Can you teach me?" he asked, looking up at Lex hopefully. "Please?"

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Lex looked about before he found another branch that would work in the place of another foil. He tossed one of them to Dimitri. "Of course I can. I've been fencing since I was younger then you." He stretched a little before starting Dimitri into some forms with the promise of some sparring later.

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"You have?" Dmitri looked at Lex in wonder. Learning how to fence seemed much more important then going to school or learning to play chess.

"You must be wonderful at it!"

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Lex chuckled as he corrected one of his forms and demonstrated another. "My father thought it was character building. And not in any good way you may think." Chess has been the same way but he wasn't about to speak ill of Anatoly's game to his son.

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As far as Dmitri was concerned, chess was the worst thing that was ever invented but he wasn't about to say that to his father's lover.

"I think parents say lots of awful things are for your character," he said, making a face as he tried hard to copy the forms Lex was showing him.

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Lex couldn't help himself as he laughed rather hard at what Dmitir said. He lightly ruffled the boy's hair as he corrected his stance again lightly. "I think that is very true."

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Dmitri bit his lip then stopped what he was doing and tugged at Lex's hand to make sure he had his attention. He was afraid to ask this question but it was one that had been bothering him this whole time and he had to know.

"Will you and Papa stay with us now? You won't go? Because.... because Ilona wants to know."

[capable_of]

The tug on his hand got his attention and knelt down so he was on Dimitri's level, something his father never would have done, put himself on the same level as a child.

The question, innocently asked and with so much riding on it, brought a lump to Lex's throat. This fog was the cruelest thing the island had ever devised, that much he knew.

His first instinct was to lie, to tell Dmitri that everything would be alright, but he could not lie to this child, even if he was an apparition.

"We will stay until the island rips us away. But know that if we could, we would never leave you again. I swear it."

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Dmitri nodded solemnly, squeezing Lex's hand as tightly as he could. It wasn't the answer he had hoped for, exactly, but it was an answer and more than that, it was the truth.

"We'll wait for you to come back then," he said earnestly. "And I'll take care of Ilona and Lena. I will."

[capable_of]

It was then Lex vowed to himself, then and there. He would never lie to this child and any child he and Anatoly had. Ever.

The fact that he was even thinking about having children was a very large step that he wasn't going to think about.

"I know you will. They couldn't ask for a better big brother." When the fog disappeared, there was a good chance Lex would never see these children again and it was that thought that made him draw Dimitri in for a big, firm hug.