capable_of | (no subject)

When Lex woke up that morning, sprawled out in a bed in the compound, he was at first disoriented. What was he doing here, instead of back in his bed in his hut with Anatoly?

He sat up and looked for his clothes, when all of his memories of the past month crashed down on him. His head fell into his hands as he remembered every insult he'd said and arrogant thing he'd done. What's more, it chilled him to remember that how he'd acted before he'd met Clark. Before he'd a role model on how to act like a normal human being, much less a good one.

The ones the especially hurt were the things he'd said and done to Anatoly. He knew he'd hurt him, every word meant as a weapon. Even not being able to remember, how could he do such a thing? As he sat there on the bed, he contemplated what to do. He wondered if he should even bother going back, as it seemed like no matter what he did, he was destined to hurt the man he loved.

But he remembered a promise he'd made two years ago, about never trying to leave again. So, no matter if he might be thrown out as a result, he steeled him, got dressed, had a cup of a coffee and then made the walk back to the hut he, hopefully, still shared with Anatoly.

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"I am not a good person so I don't know what I did to deserve this." Lex never believed in chances because he'd never been given one. He had always been seen as a Luthor and expected to act as such. Acting out of character only earned distrust. So he honestly didn't know what to think of Anatoly constantly forgiving him except for sheer gratitude and love.

"I love you." No, it wasn't often said between them but it needed to be said now.

Anatoly gently cupped Lex's cheek with his hand and leaned in to kiss him slowly and sweetly. "I love you too," he murmured.

For him, it was simply that he loved Lex. His time on the island had taught him not to be afraid of opening his heart, that some things were very much worth fighting for no matter what might happen. With Lex, he had found the sense of safety he had always longed for and the freedom to play chess as his heart desired. With Lex, he was home.

"Would it be too presumptuous of me to ask if we can just go back to bed? Pretend like this whole month never happened?" In other words, what Lex wanted most in the world was to be able to curl up with Anatoly in his arms and Aeneas at their feet. To feel safe in their embrace. Like the family he'd always wanted.

"No," Anatoly shook his head as he took Lex's hand and eagerly tugged him over to the bed. "No, that is - I cannot think of anything that I would rather do then to hold you and never let you go."

Lex was home. His family was home. At this moment, nothing else mattered.