For Anatoly

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Another morning dawned on Tabula Rasa and Lex was stretched out beside Anatoly, debating whether or not to open his eyes and attempt to get out of bed. Instead, he just moved closer into Anatoly's arms, relishing the feel of waking up like this. He sighed softly and finally took advantage of his favorite part of the morning. A hand reached up and stroked the Russian's stubbled cheek. It was a simple pleasure but a pleasure all the same.

Before he was a woman, this had been enough. But things had changed when he'd been female, mainly, they had finally come together, wholly and completely. And now that he was male again...there was nothing. They'd gone back to how they had been before, but now Lex, well to be blunt, he missed the sex.

He knew he should bring itup, ask Anatoly about it...but for the moment, he just wanted to stroke the sleeping man's cheek and watch half-lidded as he stirred.

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The hand on his cheek was what finally pulled Anatoly out of the realm of dreams. He opened his eyes slowly, offering Lex a sleepy smile once he came into focus.

"Good morning," he murmured, drawing Lex in for a soft kiss. "Did you sleep well?"

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The sweet kiss was returned before Lex replied, just as softly, "Very. As always." It always amazed him how well he slept in this bed with this man. When he dared think on it. He then kissed Anatoly's nose lightly. "Did you, Tolya?"

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"I did," Anatoly answered, stretching languidly.

Idly, he rubbed at his chin, trying to determine by feel alone how advanced his stubble was. Enough to be itchy, but not enough for him to be allowed to shave was his conclusion. The only thing to do, then, was to keep Lex wrapped in his arms and enjoy the process of waking up.

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"Excellent..." Lex purred softly, wanting to give into the urge to just fall asleep again, surrounded by warmth and comfort.

But his question still nagged at the back of his brain and he knew he wouldn't be able to settle until he asked. With a soft sigh, he rubbed the stubbled cheek with his thumb and kissed him, slow and sweetly, putting it off for just a moment longer.

"Tolya," he said in soft English, "I need to ask you something."

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"What is it?" Anatoly murmured, switching effortlessly into English. It was one of the things he enjoyed about being with Lex, whatever this thing they had could be called, that they could switch languages at will. It was a small thing, but he loved his native language and he'd been so afraid he might never hear it again.

He pressed a soft kiss to Lex's forehead and waited for his question to be asked.

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If Lex knew learning to speak his language meant that much to Anatoly, he'd be slightly amazed, but happy that he could do it. Unlike most others, it was an easy thing for him to do.

But it also was useful. They could understand each other when they needed their native languages for comfort or importance. Like now.

The soft kiss made him sigh but then he pulled back slightly so he could look Anatoly full in the face. "I realize you are not as comfortable with a male sexual relationship as I am and I was willing to wait But after being female and experiencing sex with you...I can't help but be impatient now."

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Anatoly stared at Lex, a little stunned. Whatever question he had thought Lex would ask, it wasn't that, and he didn't quite know how to answer.

It was a fair question to ask, if he was completely honest. He had truly meant to take things slow, given his inexperience with male lovers. But then came the day he'd woken to find Lex had been changed into a woman - an incredibly beautiful one at that - and he'd let his body doing the thinking, such as it was.

After things had gone back to normal, he'd simply let himself fall back into the patterns they'd established before. It was just... easier. Less terrifying.

"Are you - what are you saying?"

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With a soft sigh, Lex reached out and touched Anatoly's cheek gently. "Please know, that whatever your answer, it changes nothing. I will wait for as ever long as it takes for you to be comfortable." Sure, he would try and change his mind but he would accept whatever Anatoly wanted, just to have more mornings waking up next to this man.

"But I need to tell you how much I want to make love to you, wholly and completely." He ducked his eyes for a moment with a small playful grin. "Its just to crass a word for the situation, but if blunt works, I miss the sex."

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Anatoly flushed and lowered his eyes, unable to meet Lex's gaze at the moment. It was not the admission of desire that flustered him, it was that damnable lack of experience.

When Lex had been a woman, he'd taken an immense amount of care in pleasing her to the very best of his ability. Now that he was back in his normal form, he wanted to do the same. It was the "how" that was the problem. He was out of his depth here, in this arena, and it was important to him that he measure up, so to speak.

"I miss it too," he finally admitted softly. "But I have been... it's difficult... I know so little."

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It took everything Lex had not to laugh happily. He knew laughing at this moment would be bad for Anatoly self esteem in this matter, but if Anatoly was only worried about his lack of knowledge vice the deed itself, then the situation was much easier then Lex thought.

From when he was a woman, he could tell that Anatoly was one of those people that took great pleasure from giving pleasure to their partner. So he could imagine how difficult it was for Anatoly to have no experience and thus, no way of doing what he wanted. There really was only one way to handle this. Plus, Lex could teach him /just/ the way he liked it...

With a bright grin, Lex kissed Anatoly, long and deep, taking a moment to once again realize how lucky he was to have this man in his bed. "Do you trust me to teach you?" He asked, his voice dropping to a lower, husky level.

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"I do," Anatoly murmured breathlessly once the kiss had ended. He caressed Lex's cheek gently, amazed yet again at his fortune in finding someone so perfect and understanding. "I trust you completely."

Lex was safe, secure, everything that he had longed for in a partner. Lex was home.

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Hearing Anatoly say those words...it caused a shiver to go down Lex's spine and his eyes closed for a moment as he leaned into the soft hand on his cheek. If he didn't care for this man before, he did now. Anatoly trusted him and that was more then Lex could ever ask for. Not something he took lightly either.

"Then let me show you...Let me take care of you. Like you did for me." Lex kissed him long and deep once more, giving Anatoly another moment to think about it. One last chance to stop for the moment. Trust had nothing on nerves and Lex would understand. They had made so much progress already today and he could wait another day.

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It was a testament to how far Anatoly had come since that fateful New Year's Eve that he only hesitated a few moments before answering. "Show me."

If past experience was anything to judge by, the lesson would be exacting, very thoroughly and highly enjoyable. "I promise I will be a very attentive student."

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Lex couldn't remember another point in his life when he couldn't stop smiling like this very moment. "Sit up." He said in eager English, practically pulling Anatoly up so he sat against the wall, a pillow behind Anatoly's back. He spread the Russian's legs and knelt between them, then kissed him passionately. "Watch and learn Tolya...

With a smirk, he moved back slightly, so he could lean down and lick up Anatoly's penis.

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Lex was never so captivating as when he smiled, Anatoly thought as he obediently sat up and moved as he was directed. He couldn't help but smile in anticipation; he did enjoy having Lex as a teacher.

He caught his breath as Lex knelt before him. This was not the first time that someone had done this to him, of course, but to his eyes, no one had ever looked so beautiful, so sensual as Lex did at that moment. Then Lex's tongue was on him and he groaned softly, his hands clutching the sheets.

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After seeing Anatoly's skill while he was a woman, Lex had no doubt that he was not the first person to do this to the Russian. But this was just a lead up to his plan, hoping to relax Anatoly with the familiar before hedging into the unfamiliar.

A smirk never left his features as he licked and sucked with expert care, stopping just as it got too much to softly suckle the head and kiss his thigh, his revenge for Anatoly's teasing that first time.

As Lex worked, he braced himself on one forearm, while the other reached behind and began slowly stretching himself.

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Anatoly couldn't help but suspect this was payback for the exquisite teasing all those weekends ago. If it was, there were worse ways to atone, and he resolved to enjoy every moment of his penance.

He tilted his head back and lost himself to the amazing sensations, one hand still gripping the sheets and the other resting gently on the back of Lex's head. He wanted - needed more, but he trusted Lex and was content to let him lead this variation.

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Oh, and Lex enjoyed every bit of Anatoly's penance as well. Every moan and touch of his head was enough to renew his sense of purpose in what he was doing, whether he was currently sucking him down or relaxing him with soft kisses to his thigh. He wanted to send him to the same heights he'd been taken too when he was female.

Finally, once he'd stretched himself out enough, he sat back on his heels and just look at Anatoly spread out before him, a satisfied smile on his face as he surveyed his work.

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Anatoly murmured in protest when the touching stopped, and he opened his eyes curiously. What he saw made him catch his breath and he shivered, the look on Lex's face only stirring his desire to greater heights.

"Lex," he said huskily as he moved forward to pull him into a deep, hungry kiss.

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While keeping up with the kiss, Lex pushed Anatoly back against the wall as he crawled forward over his body, of course avoiding the most sensitive area. Once he was practically in the Russian's lap with a knee on either side, he broke the kiss and leaned forward to say softly in the others ear. "Remember what you did after you teased me?"

He took a moment to suck and bite lightly at the lobe before he added with a smirk in his voice. "What if I told you you were about to do it again?"

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Anatoly remembered what had happened very well and he groaned, his hands tracing designs on Lex's thighs. There had been a few lovers in his past, and quite a few first times, but nothing had ever come close to what he'd experienced with Lex.

"Again?" He asked breathlessly, unconsciously tightening his grip on Lex's thighs.

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"Again." Lex said huskily before kissing lightly along Anatoly jaw so he could capture his mouth in a bruising kiss, complete with one hand gripping tightly to his curls.

All to distract Anatoly as he knelt up so his other hand could find the Russian's cock and put it in the right position before he slowly began to sink down on it.

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Anatoly's thoughts flew apart at the deep passionate kiss. Lex's hand tangled in his hair only fueled his desire and he groaned, his fingers moving to grip Lex's hip tightly.

The next moment, Lex had his hand on his cock and was moving down on him and everything just exploded. It was a different sensation then he was used to, but it was so very good.

He gasped wordlessly then leaned his forehead against Lex's, his breath coming in huge gulps. He cupped Lex's cheeks with his hands, finally managing a few words. "Oh, Sascha. God, you feel amazing..."

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Lex had done this very thing many times and from that experience, he just concentrated on moving slow and steady so they could both get used to the feeling. And oh what a feeling. Experiencing Anatoly entering him when he was a woman had been inspiring...but it hadn't been nearly as tight or hot as this.

Concentrating as hard as he was, Lex didn't even pay attention to what Anatoly had said until he was fully seated in the other man's lap, pausing to both catch his breath and relish the full feeling. But when he did, he blinked, startled, and pulled his head slightly away so he could look Anatoly in the eyes, not quite believing what he'd heard. "Tolya?"

To some people, a name was nothing. To a Luthor...it was everything.

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In all his life, Anatoly had never felt anything so intense as this. Making love to Lex as a woman had been nothing short of amazing. Heaven, bliss, ecstasy - none of them came close to describing what it was like with Lex as a man.

At first, he didn't register the question, he was so busy touching every inch of Lex he could reach. But when it did reach him, he stopped, his hands on the other man's shoulders.

"Sascha," he repeated, a little hesitantly, hoping he had not caused offense. "Your name, your full name is Alexander. It is just - you mean so much to me. You might be called Lex here, but at home, you would be Sascha."

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Anatoly's words meant so much, that Lex almost forgot what they were doing as he stared at him in just completely awe.

Lex had always had the importance of his name drilled into him since birth. The Luthor name had certain rights and privileges associated with it. He'd been named after a young progeny who had ruled the known world before he was 30 and expected to live up to. His name had been shortened to Lex, so his initials would follow in his father's footsteps as he was expected too. In true...his name had never really been his. He'd tried to make it his own...but it always came down to the fact that people couldn't see past the reputation his father had associated with the name of Luthor.

To be given one, in this type of situation, by this man...that had nothing to do with his father...It was almost too much for Lex to bare. He kissed Anatoly desperately for a moment before whispering against his lips, "I'd be honored if you'd call me that here..."

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Anatoly cupped Lex's face with his hands, returning the kiss with all of the passion and desire in his heart. He'd never quite understood all this importance on a name, but if Lex wanted him to call him Sascha, then he would do just that.

"Anything you ask," he murmured, his hands drifting back to Lex's shoulders. "Sascha."

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The name sent shivers down Lex's spine, which sent shocks somewhere else, acutely reminding him of what they were doing. "God Tolya...You are too good to me." Both hands now found their way to Anatoly's curls as he slowly raised himself up, then down again, using every bit of his experience and skill to blow the mind of the amazing man he held so close to his heart.

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Through sheer effort of will, Anatoly kept his eyes opened and focused on Lex, though every instinct screamed for him to close his eyes and lose himself to the incredible sensation of being ridden so beautifully. He wanted to see Lex, know that he was enjoying this every bit as much as he was.

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Enjoying it was an understatement. Once again, Lex felt like he was flying as he moved his hips expertly while occasionally squeezing the muscles in his ass to apply the perfect amount of pressure on the cock in side him. He was drawing it out, making the experience last to give Anatoly as much pleasure as possible.

Of course, this was affecting him too. The feeling of being filled so perfectly had his own cock hard as rock as it scrapped carelessly against Anatoly's stomach as he moved.

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In this moment, Anatoly knew without a doubt that there was no one else in the world that he wanted so much as Lex. He leaned forward, kissing him passionately, one hand cupping Lex's cheek.

"Sascha," he breathed softly, the name the only word he could summon to his lips. Everything else was lost in the intoxicating sense of this union with Lex.

Gently, almost reverently, he wrapped his free hand around Lex's cock. He stroked him lightly at first, not so given over to passion and desire that he couldn't resist a bit of teasing.

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Want. Trust. Need. All the things Lex was feelings at this very moment. It was almost bliss enough in itself since he wasn't sure he'd ever felt all three at once with any one person. Just Anatoly.

The hand caused a shiver to go down Lex's spine and he couldn't help a smirking chuckle and smile. "Always a tease Tolya." He said in clipped words as he poured most of his concentration into what he was doing, despite the new distraction.

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"Always," Anatoly murmured, smiling playfully as he brushed his fingers gently over the head. He leaned in for another kiss, groaning softly as the slight shift caused another wave of pleasure to wash over him.

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Lex matched his groan as they kissed, moving his hips frantically between the cock inside him and the hand on his own. "Tolya..." he gasped out as he closed his eyes, so close to the edge of flying. He grounded himself that little more by running his thumbs over the rough stubble on Anatoly's cheeks.

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There was nothing so beautiful as watching Lex come apart under his fingers, and Anatoly was determined to see this before he gave way himself.

"Sascha," he whispered in between gasps, timing the movement of his hand to match the rhythm Lex set. "I want to see you..."

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Once Lex opened his eyes and looked into Anatoly's, he was lost. He sat down to take as much of Anatoly into himself as possible...and his body tensed before just completely letting go, spilling over Anatoly's hand as he leaned forward to kiss him.

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His last vestige of control gone, Anatoly shuddered as he came, a soft cry against Lex's lips. He leaned back against the wall, eyes half closed. He stroked Lex's shoulder softly as he recovered, unable to do anything but breathe.

If he was given to expressions of love... but he wasn't, and they didn't need such assurances. What they had was perfect enough as it was.

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Lex was unable to do anything but lean heavily against Anatoly, his head tucked into the crook of the Russian's neck as he too just breathed.

Finally, when Lex could think again, he ran one hand up into Anatoly's curls and gently pulled his head to the side so he could kiss his neck without moving. "Tolya..."

Love was the further est thing from Lex's mind. This was just perfect. There was no other word for it. No assurances, no quiet words that had to quantify an unfathomable experience. Just, this. Quiet silence after a beloved name.

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"Sascha," Anatoly murmured, eyes half-closed. He shifted a little to find a more comfortable position and wrapped his arms around Lex, needing to be close as possible.

As far as he was concerned, there was nothing better than this, to hold in his arms the one he cared most about and know there was nothing he needed to do. If he wanted, he could stay here, just as he was, and there was no one to stop him or disapprove.

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Shifting with Anatoly till they were both comfortable, Lex knew they would both have to move in a moment, if anything to clean up and avoiding getting sore from staying in this position. Laying down and going back to sleep sounded like a lovely idea. But he didn't want to just yet. Didn't want this moment to end.

With his one hand remaining in Anatoly's hair, the other moved down to wrap around his waist, almost pulling himself further into Anatoly's lap. He kept peppering soft kisses on his neck, just needing to touching him, caress him...show how much he adored him.

Adoration. That was the perfect word for it. And it had been so long since he'd felt safe enough to feel this way. Which made him want to move and end this moment even less, soreness and stickiness aside.

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Time passed in a pleasant sort of haze, but eventually Anatoly shifted and broke the silence. "We should move," he murmured, lightly stroking Lex's back. "Perhaps get a shower... "

The truth was that he didn't want to move, not for anything in the world. He was content, perfectly content, and he didn't want to destroy the mood by allowing reality to intrude once more.

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Lex thought for a moment, then playfully bit at the pulse point in Anatoly's neck before sitting up. With a soft groan, he un-straddled the Russian, gasping softly as his cock finally slid out of him as he settled beside him. Then he fished around on the floor until he found what he was looking for. A discarded shirt, ready for the laundry pile anyway. After a quick and dirty clean up, Lex threw it over his shoulder and pulled Anatoly down to lay beside him, wrapping his arms around his waist and pulling him close. "There...Good enough for now...Don't want to let you go for a moment."

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Anatoly gasped softly at the bite, involuntarily jerking his hips forward. He let go reluctantly when Lex sat up, groaning softly at the separation. It seemed like an age until the clean up was finished and he was safely in Lex's arms.

Sleepily, he caressed Lex's cheek then leaned forward to kiss him gently. "I could stay here like this," he murmured, his eyes closing despite his best efforts. "Just with you."

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Lex ran lazy fingers up Anatoly's side until they seemed to find their way back to where they had started out the morning: lightly stroking the scruff on the Russian's cheeks. "I have no classes today so unless you have somewhere to be..." He said in a light teasing voice before lightly kissing the tip of his nose. "I think that's a grand idea."

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"Nowhere but with you," Anatoly murmured contentedly, shifting so he could rest his head against Lex's chest. He was rapidly losing the battle with consciousness, but he hardly minded at this point. He was pleasantly sated and in the arms of someone he'd grown to care about more than he thought was possible after all he'd gone through.

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This morning had been filled with delight full surprises. Not that Lex thought Anatoly would say no to his question...he just hadn't realistically expected results so soon. And such pleasant results at that.

He laid there for a while, just looking down at the head pillowed on his rest as one hand stroked the sleeping man's cheek while the other rand idly through dark brown curls. Finally, Lex too fell victim to exhaustion and dozed off, feeling so happy and content with Anatoly that he still sometimes thought this was only a dream. The best dream he'd ever had.